We all know how challenging it is to be a woman and how confused you grow to become with all the mixed signals you record in your mind while growing up. What, with the inescapable litany of “You should be strong and independent”, “You should place your husband and kids first”, “You should take care of your looks or else he’ll leave you”….and more and more SHOULDS!
Society and false beliefs are usually responsible for the majority of your decisions, even the most intimate ones, love, choices, priorities… And that shouldn’t be the case! How can you be happy if your choices are not dictated by your true yearnings and if your life is a movie that you watch instead of playing the leading part? The woman I want you to see in the mirror is empowered and independent but she is also feminine, glamorous and she irradiates peace, love and happiness. She is career driven and she’s a great mom, and of course she manages to stay beautiful, fit … and happy? What an acrobat, you would say, or juggler or magician!! So let’s forget about the circus and get real…
It is actually very hard to get there, be all of this. In fact it is hard to find the right balance between two sides of your personality. Some would call it “Feminine and Masculine”, other would say it is “Yin and Yang” (although in this particular case I don’t really agree). In these definitions, it is implied that the strong part of us is the masculine one; as if femininity is evidently weak and powerless. In fact, you are able to handle both your emotional and logical sides. You can be an amazing mother with a high profile job and rock it!
So how do you get there? Have the great job AND the amazing love life? You shouldn’t have to choose.
THIS IS POSSIBLE and it is exactly my mission as Crazy Love Coach: guiding you until you are finally seeing THIS WOMAN in the mirror.
It is just a question of balance. Being a stay-at-home mom can be really fulfilling while your kids are still young and around but obviously you won’t feel that excited about your days when they won’t need you anymore. It is the same about having a demanding job; once you achieve your goals one after the other, who will be by your side to celebrate it with you? So what now?
Well, you take a piece of paper and draw a table to which you add those titles:
- Inner self
Those are the 6 main areas of your life.
You are going to put a grade /10 to each one of them depending on how you feel TODAY in this particular area. You can then see which one really needs your focus and take action to improve it.
For example, if you are struggling in your love life at the moment, you are going to dedicate it more time or effort in order to figure out how you can make it better. If it’s your inner self that isn’t at peace now, you will get more “me-time” and give a more important place to self-care in your schedule, etc.
I advise you to do this exercise consistently every couple of weeks. It will allow you to be aware of what is really bothering you and enable you to find the most efficient and rapid way to deal with it.
If you get a 10/10 in one field while all the others are very low, this isn’t healthy. It is also a kind of dependence. You will try then to find a new equilibrium and give the proper focus on other interests.
Try it … Observe the changes in your life.
By Michèle Jabre